'Riverdale' season 2, episode 14 review: In the wild, wild woods

It’s nice to see Cheryl finally get some screentime.

In the heart of Riverdale, trouble is never that far away, is it?

Hiram sends Veronica and Archie off for a weekend at the Lodges’ posh cabin by the lake and Betty and Jughead come along to make it a double date. But things get off to a wobbly start. Cheryl calls Jughead and cheerfully informs him she saw Archie and Betty kissing during the height of the Black Hood hunt. So while Archie and Veronica are testing out their bedsprings, Betty and Jughead are back in bickering mode.

Jughead is mostly just mad that Betty never told him. He admits he used to be jealous of Archie, but now he knows he and Betty are stronger than all that. After Veronica whips up some margaritas and prescribes a dip in the hot tub to heal these frayed relationships, she suggests she should kiss Jughead. They do share a totally delicious smooch while Archie grits his teeth and glares. And while he’s doing frustrated push-ups at the foot of Veronica’s bed, Betty is slipping into a lace bustier and her Dark Betty wig to give Jughead “a distraction from his sleuthing.” Now it’s their bed’s turn to squeak.

The lovers’ retreat turns sour, though, when Veronica finds out that Andre’s been keeping an eye on them and orders him to leave. She takes Betty into town for a girls-only shopping trip, making sure to flirt with the store cashier along the way, while Archie and Jughead do some male bonding in the woods. But when Jughead learns that Hiram has purchased his trailer park, and Betty learns that he bought her mum’s newspaper, they turn on Veronica, accusing Hiram of trying to buy off anyone who stands in his way. So much for yummy margaritas and hot tubs.

Then, masked robbers burst into the lodge, wielding axes and demanding cash. Veronica recognises one of them as the cashier she flirted with, and manages to trigger a silent alarm that scares them off. But the cashier snatches her necklace on the way out, and Archie chases the guy down outside and tackles him. Suddenly, Andre appears out of thin air and assures Archie, “I’ll take care of it from here.” As Archie’s walking away, he hears a single gunshot!

Back in Hiram’s, Archie confesses that he still regrets he didn’t stop the Black Hood when he had the chance, and Hiram advises him to “never, ever hesitate.” Oh, and he gives him back Ronnie’s necklace, too. Welcome to the family, Archie.

It’s nice to see Cheryl finally get some screentime. She’s still feuding with her mum Penelope who blames her for driving away Hal and calls her an “emotional anorexic” — and she snaps at Toni when the “Sapphic Serpent” tries to get to know her. But later, a tearful Cheryl makes a big confession to Toni. She was in love with a girl named Heather in junior high!

Chic continues to be creepy, telling Jughead if he tells anyone about the dead body, “it’ll be bad for Betty and Alice.” Then when Betty came home from her weekend in the woods, Jughead warned her about Chic while he was lurking upstairs. Yikes.

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