This Friday, 7mate will air one of the most celebrated (and certainly one of the most entertaining) action films ever: director John Woo's Face/Off. Woo’s masterful orchestration of action sequences and distinctive “I think we need more slow motion and doves” style have deservedly secured him a place in the action directors hall of fame.
The truth is that there are few things in movie-land as exciting and rewarding as a well executed action scene... but there are also few things as hilarious and memorable as an ineptly directed fight scene or an over-the-top action sequence that not only requires the audience to suspend disbelieve, but also to be brain-dead.
Here, in the 7mate quarters, we not only celebrate the best of the seventh art, but also those beautiful examples of unrestrained incompetence that make our eyes water with laughter.
And just to prove our point (and to celebrate Woo’s brilliant Face/Off by exploring the other end of the spectrum), we want to share with you the worst (and more ridiculous) action sequences ever. Enjoy, we sure did!
And while you are at it, don’t forget to download the 7mate iPhone app and have a different babe wake you up every morning!
What makes it so awesomely bad: Any self-respecting list of clumsy action sequences has to pay tribute to Captain James T Kirk’s “epic” fight with a Gorn. Everything about this scene is side-splitting: from the rubber costume, the grunts, and the hug of death, to the “my foam rock is bigger than yours” attack.
What makes it so awesomely bad: Rubber shark? Check. Man in tights? Check. Man in tights punching rubber shark? Check. Shark-Repellent-Bat-Spray? Check. Exploding rubber shark? Check.
What makes it so awesomely bad: Why waste valuable arrows if you can just film someone shooting one and then repeat the scene ad infinitum? No economic recession will stop these guys from making a movie. Moreover, if you already spent money on a trampoline, make sure you make the most out of it! Finally, and this is very important, be cautious of rocks: they can set you alight if punched by an old dude wearing a black leather jacket. And what about the sound effects? Priceless.
What makes it so awesomely bad: Balls of steel? Not quite...
What makes it so awesomely bad: Word of advice: do not, under any circumstances, tear a hole in the jacket of a dude who has just licked a knife. Even more so if said individual obviously stole his jacket from the set of Saturday Night Fever. There is an exception to this rule, though: If you happen to know a girl with a broken arm who is willing to assist you with her mighty towel, then by all means start a fight!
What makes it so awesomely bad: Balls of steel? Sure thing. Toes of steel? Not quite.
What makes it so awesomely bad: A strong contender for the Best Editing of all Time award. And the little dance at the end? Legendary!
What makes it so awesomely bad: After Jackie Chan is thrown into a Street Fighter arcade machine he, of course, gains the ability to change into any Street Fighter character (including Chun Li). What can be more logical than that? Lucky for him that he didn’t get thrown into a Mrs. Pac-Man machine!
What makes it so awesomely bad: BEST. MONSTER. EVER. Eat your heart out Ed Wood.
What makes it so awesomely bad: These two action sequences are just epic. They’re not bad per se, just so over the top you won’t believe your eyes. Laws of motion, you say? Never heard of them. Isaac who?