Hello, internet? Is this thing on? It is? Great. HELLO BLOGOSPHERE! My name is Jimmy or as you might know me, this guy:

Welcome to BATG Season 4!

The BATG mansion opens with a brand new bevvy of brains and beauties that will befriend and battle in this barrage I am blogging for you! (Watching V For Vendetta before writing this blog was the best idea ever). As this is my first blog in a while, I would beg your indulgence on details and form. I’m a little out of practice. As you all know there IS a twist this year, one of the geeks is a secret millionaire! So, enough of this, let’s get this party started like a Will Smith fish!

The show opens with OH GOD THAT’S THE DANDY WARHOLS! Attention grabbed ok. And this entrance for the geeks is much, MUCH cooler than last years. Their mode of transportation? Couches, Bathtubs? Wait, is that a Dalek? Ok, these are clearly our geeks. Let’s have a quick look through them!

Jack: A musical man. I am a huge fan of the ukulele.
Oliver: Law Student. Fan of musical Theatre. More musical geeks! Awesome
Chard: Best name ever, coolest job (A bionic limbs expert! He has to build superheroes!)
Rich: I can’t believe it! We actually got a rocket scientist!
Matt: Biologist. Dude reminds me of the MGM logo, for some reason
Dane: The Chemist. I wonder if Love is The Drug for him?
Cody : The Webmaster! Full disclosure. Cody and I were in a geek competition last year, and he thoroughly trounced me
Nathan: Yup, that’s a Code monkey alright

Jason: Town Planner and Dancer. I wonder what he plans to do here

Bernard Curry introduces himself to the group, and they go inside.

In come our Beauties next with nicer cars, but a worse song:

Kristy: A Window Dresser with an infectious and wonderful laugh
Kim: A Fake Tanner, that will probably come in handy come makeover time
Courtney: A receptionist who’s never been to Gibber, apparently
Millie: A caring, kind Bra fitter with a self proclaimed stunning rear end
Alin: best name EVER
Greta: Hey! A Hair Removalist! That will be handy come makeover time
Nikki : A nanny. I wonder if she’ll be the mother figure in the house
Bre: She’s a Barbie girl In a Barbie world and now you all have that song stuck in your head. You’re welcome
Chontelle: make up artist studying special effects! Future Scream Queen? awesome

Jessica: A Flight attendant. I hope it’s not too turbulent a stay in the house...

Ok, brass tacks! Who is going to be with who? This year, the matching gimmick is a lot simpler. The Geeks and Beauties step into a revolving door, sell themselves and their partners make the call, and KISS them to signify the partnership. Wow guys, this is fast. The romance factor in the partnership is quite, at the forefront isn’t it? Just on a slight side note, it is AWESOME that the twist is revealed this early. When Helen and Troy showed up as OUR twist, we had been in the mansion for a little while and had just started to relax. It’s nice to know that everything is out on the table nice and early.

ANYWAY: TIME FOR INCOMING BAD COUPLE PUNS!

Jason impresses Kristy with a FANTASTIC dance. Looks like everything is going to plan!

Jessica flies straight into Nathan

Rich crashes into Kim

Alin excites Dane in the right ways

Matt overcomes the butterflies and wows Courtney

Nicky hooks up with Jack (Geddit? Because of the fishing line?)

Chard and Millie, I got nothing, sorry guys

Bre goes well with Olive(r). I’m sorry that was too cheesy

Cody checkmates BOTH ladies! What a Legend (of Zelda). He ends up with Chontelle and Team CC is born!

Our last team is Greta and … Ok, His name is mystery Geek for now because he is at an exam right now.

We start the mingling off. Kristy and Jason discuss lingerie and we’re off! This year we’re competing for not only the 100,000 but ALSO a brand new Holden Barina! That’s Pretty exciting.

In the meantime our Mystery Geek arrives!

Yiran: A medical student studying Plastic Surgery. That should come in handy come makeover time

Let’s get our first challenge underway and PANTSLESS GEEKS! TAKE A DRINK!

Challenge One: The Shame locker
Ok, Oh no, no no no no no no no no no. They are STARTING with this?
sigh, ok. Well, the idea here is the girls have to identify their geeks, the geeks established in our last drinks aren’t wearing pants. by touching them through lockers with holes cut out.. this is, uncomfortable to watch... they’re off and hands are being shoved into holes (I hate that I wrote that) Our first to guess is Chontelle and unfortunately guesses incorrectly. The inevitable happens, a crotch grab. Look guys, this is, super difficult for me to watch. Let’s just, lets just get this over quickly and hope that there are no more “Accidents”

ok, Kristy and Jason are our winners. Let’s just, move past that, yeah? Awesome. Well done

After that we are treated to a Spa scene The Spa looks small but can actually fit everyone in the house into it. In fact, I am calling it the Spardis from now on. Anyway, the guys and girls talk about who is attractive and who wants who. Rich is clearly the ladies man here. Poor ignorant ladies man.

In preparation for the next challenge we see the geeks training to box, and doing pushups, full metal jacket style. This challenge (called a 00 challenge by Bernard) will probably involve some Bond style stuff.

Challenge 2! A Vodka Mar Geeky, (shaken not stirred).
In this challenge it seems our geeky heroes get a license to kill. They must kick down a door, run up a flight of stairs along the outside of a silo and jump off. Then talk to their beauty with a pickup line.

Holy hell guys, this is like, the two toughest (for me anyway) Challenges from last year. (Ep two, Pickup lines in public and ep 10, Jumping off a high thing, which I thoroughly failed to do). Let me just say that Everyone who made that jump is a better man than I am.

So here are the things I learned from this challenge:
● Sometimes Doors don’t want to move
● Nerdy pickup lines are awesome
● Some geeks don’t have pickup lines

● High things are still scary

Ok, after all of that, our winner is: Nathan and Jessica! Awesome

Ok so now the Nominations. The worst part of all of this. Kristy and Jason pick first and Nikki and Jack. Nathan and Jessica reluctantly pick Greta and Yiran. There can be only one winner and we all know that, but FIRST WEEK noms are the worst. You have only JUST met these people and you need to tell them to get out. This is always hard. I’m sorry that one of them has to go.

It also looks like our first romance is happening already! that’s a little surprising. Rich and Greta seem to be broken up about this. I’m hoping it’s not going to end as quickly as it began.

Welcome to the ELIMINATION ROOM

Both of them are looking quite strong, but my gut has to go with Yiran and Greta, mostly because Yiran knows a lot about Bond

IT BEGINS!
Round 1 - Nikki and Greta in a geek off!
Nikki takes 1 and takes a stab at rubiks cube and misses
Greta chooses 4, and struggles with the theory of relativity
Nikki mistakes a Vulcan for a dog, angering fanboys, and leaving the score at Nil all

Greta NAILS that H20= water putting her team in the lead!

GY=1 NJ=0

Round 2!
Jack gets an Austin Powers question and ties up the game
Yiran answers CWA isn’t a spy agency, which puts him BACK in the lead

Jack gets a tricky one, how many Bond movies was Roger More in? He guesses 2 the correct answer was 7. That’s it. Nikki and Jack are out. That is just plain Bad Luck. Being first eliminated is never great and I’m sorry guys.

SO! That’s episode one down. It was enjoyable to watch, but if I had to describe it in one word, it would be Intense. it’s trying to be bigger and better than last year by starting with all of the things that made last year great. What’s going to happen next? I can’t tell you, but I am VERY interested. This is Jimmy. Signing off